I Miss You

Dear you,

Yeah, the title kinda says it all doesn't it? I just out of no where started thinking of all the times we had together. I miss them so badly. I wonder if we'll have the chance to share such moments again in the near future. Yeah, that's right, those moments had passed. But no matter what, they will always be part of us as memories and I hope these memories don't just end there. They won't have to, it all depends on us.

What I'd do to see your smile and hear your laughter. There's nothing we can do but just hope for things to be better soon. It's been tough lately I think we both realized. We don't seem to be able to do the things we used to do, say the things we want to say or even be the way we are supposed to be. Having said that, it feels different between us now and how much I want it to remain the way it was but we can't help it, can we? The only thing we can do is to move on.

We've been through so much together. And we can make it through the rain. Everything happens for a reason, it just guides us to where we are now. I always believe that if things are meant to be, they will find it's way some how to where it truly belongs.

I'll make this short and quick because I'm positive you would understand what I'm feeling here and I think you do feel the same way too, being in the similar situation and all. Nothing in the entire world can take up the special place you have in my heart.  

Love always,

me :)

Wasted

Let's see.. Well.. What is there to say? I feel like I've been wasting my time all these years doing things that will never benefit myself. Totally wasted. It feels silly now and no, this is not out of regret or anything. I don't regret the decisions I've made and the things I've done. I guess I wasn't doing the right things or thinking for myself, that's all.

Now I'm basically trying to get out of this position I'm in and do something good for myself for once. Can't wait till I feel how I should by right be feeling, happy. I want to, but it's not easy with all kinda stuff going on which btw, I do not wanna talk about. 

I've heard that you don't have to put any effort at all in order to be happy, you just be. Maybe that is true some how. Just gotta loosen up and let go right? I wish it is that easy as well. Because if it is then all pain and suffering people feel would be gone. Oh, who am I kidding? That's almost impossible!

Sick and Tired

Would no one believe me? No, don't give me that sarcastic look. All I want is for people to trust what I say is the truth. Is that too much to ask? I'm sick and tired. I keep hoping for a better day. Just as I'm getting close to it, things pull me back. And now I'm just back to where I am before. There's nothing much left here.. is there?

Listen

I know you care bout me and all but u just had to yell at me huh. Is it so hard to sit down and actually 'talk' to me for once? you think by screaming at me it will make things any better? I've got news for ya. I hate it and i kno how much you hate it too on the inside. So why don't you do us both a favour and try to listen to me? Instead of you always judging me before i get to say anything.

I felt better after talking to daddy because he actually listens. He's calm when he does that. He doesn't scream at me. Right after that a few minutes has passed and you come and start scolding me without letting me tell you what's up. You do not know what is going on in my life. You do not know what is happening. You do not know what am I going through. Maybe you would be able to get an idea about it if you had stopped and listened.

I understand you have your own ways of how you deal with things. That's okay but please stop yelling at me for the wrong reasons or even for no reason at all. It drives me crazy, honestly. You should trust in me and what I say. Stop thinking of everything I say as a lie that I made up. Stop thinking that everyone is evil or something. Stop suspecting people to be up to something bad all the time. It would be so much easier if you just listen and trust me. Then maybe you won't be making me feel worse than I did before again and again.

Kittens

Here's the story, I was walking alone back home and just as i was about to reach my house, I saw these two cute little baby homeless kittens beside the road. People were passing by but they couldn't care less. I didn't have the heart to just leave them alone and walk away. I felt so bad.

Actually there was once, some time ago when i was with my bf and there were these two cats following us but we couldn't help so just went back home. As i got home, i felt so bad and i kept thinking of the cats. I kept wondering if they will be okay. I regreted leaving them behind. Thus, i went out looking for them. But unfortunately couldn't find them. But that's in the past.


Back to the present. So yeah, i saw the two kittens and went near them. They look scared and were meowing, i take that as a cry for help. And this time i'm not going to make the mistake i once did before. I wanted to help them. So the first thing i did was to call my sis Jo. I told her bout the kittens and she came running out. So then i went home and I told my mom about them. But of course she's not suggesting we keep them. Instead, i got something to ease their hunger.. that's the least i can do.

People may think why do you bother. This is how i feel, everyone has feelings and so does animals. They are not just useless creatures. They have lifes and deserves to be loved. I hope they will be okay :) I've uploaded some pics and short clips i took with my phone moments ago..

New love

Mommy and Daddy, I love you!! thank you very much. hehe.
I found a new love :) am so happy.. yay!! what brings this sudden joy and excitement to me you may ask.

You see, I have always been on the bad side of mobile phones. I'ts either i some how break them or they stop working. Don't know how they always end up busted. Maybe i dont really take good care of them. But hey, at least i try. Really, i do. So this entry is dedicated to all of my ex-cellphones. I'm sorry, i don't know what has gotten into all of you. I hate to do this but this is how things work. You stop cooperating with me and therefore, I can't use you anymore. Shall you all some how remain some where in my heart. May you all rest in peace *moment of silence* sobs

But hey look what just happened today. Was out for breakfast with parents and Jo(sis). As we were about to go home they went into a shop to get something.. And lookie lookie :) Aww.. *tears of joy* haha.. that's just exaturating. But yeah it made my day start of with a smile. Can't wait to test it out and see what this baby can do. Owh.. there she is right below. Aww.. isn't she a beauty?

So then I spent the day shopping and wee.. it's fun. My greatest hobby of all :) Nothing out of the odinary happened today. Or maybe i'm just too overjoyed to notice.

Here I Am

Ever felt like you are taking this one step ahead but it just seems so hard. You think u can look into everything you've already got and maybe get inpiration from there to move on. However, when you are looking behind you see something you never thought of seeing. And ouch, that leaves you being stuck in the middle. Unable to go backwards nor can you move forward. But yet you give it your best shot. Go you!

[Here I Am]

Here I am with you..
Watching the beautiful sunset
Way out in the horizon
Back where we first met
How long has it been when we came to learn
That things never go our way
Never for too long they stay
No doubt it had been fun
I guess now our time is done
......................................................................................
Here I am finding myself..
Again watching the beautiful sunset
The one we used to know
I lean back to the flow
There was something i always wanted to do
To reach out into the horizon and see
What it has to give, to me
Something I'm about to do
Although how, I have no clue
......................................................................................
Here I am alone..
I take a glimspe back
To all of the wonderful things we had
But when i turned around and see
You were no longer there with me
It hurts to walk this path now
I still walk on it no matter how
Because I know that there at the end
Are all the great things installed
Maybe the sun will rise
Instead of setting all the time

[By Stephie]

Panda

Today i had trouble trying to get up. Didn't even had the strength to text Sheng back immediately this morning. Am so tired.. don't know why. Probably lack of sleep and stuff like that. eeish.. but then i forced myself to get up and i saw a panda in the mirror. As usual. They can only become worse each time. How sad is that. So i was forcing myself to get on with it.

Was so sleepy.. i was closing my eyes almost the whole time in the car. The first thing i did when i arrived in class was to sleep!! haha.. but couldn't really.. just to lie down. Then i looked up and saw Scott and was puzzled. Then it took me a moment to realise we had to go for assembly. Was still damn tired.. and he was teasing me bout the dark circles round my eyes and talking bout kungfu panda.. lol!! yeah it's cute but hey you're evil.

Had been tired through out the entire day especially during physics. Wow.. was struggling not to fall asleep. Not because it's boring but i'm so tired!! So here i am now.. back at home. I'm going to sleep early tonight and nothing's going to stop me! haha.. so i tell myself the same thing every night and look what happens.

Confusing staircase

Today is like my third day of school. Still trying to get use to it. Hadn't been easy to be honest. So today we had formal assembly and that skipped the 1st period of add math. lol. Confirmed with Scott bout where the staircase is located, he was talking to me about it yesterday but i wasn't sure where it was. lol? Long story short, the staircase is now labelled as the 'confusing' one by us. Hey, it's not my fault! Every building looks the same to me. Probably one of these days i'm going to end up lost around here. haha

Nothing special happened until reccess. Manda came by with Victor for a visit and she returned my ipod and got us secret recipe cakes.. aww.. Was so glad to see her. Joshie and Alex was suppose to come along as well but couldn't make it. I miss everyone so much. She was like complaining bout the uniform and stuff like that and says that i belong to my previous school. haha.. i get it. I felt the pain as well when i saw her close to tears. Things just aren't the same anymore. Didn't get to spend much time with her because couldn't reach my mom to ask her to pick me up later. Oh well, hope you guys had fun.

Oh and what else? yeah.. I'm supposed to finish up my peka thingy for physics so Sheng had to pass it over to me. Chocolates!! :) lol and i think i have accounts test tomorrow. lol.. i don't study it back in my old school but it's sort of like compulsary here. I haven't even gotten any books for it! Don't know anything about it! And there's a test tomorrow? what??? haha,, what a joke. Totally going to fail it.. yay! awesome :(