Wasted

Let's see.. Well.. What is there to say? I feel like I've been wasting my time all these years doing things that will never benefit myself. Totally wasted. It feels silly now and no, this is not out of regret or anything. I don't regret the decisions I've made and the things I've done. I guess I wasn't doing the right things or thinking for myself, that's all.

Now I'm basically trying to get out of this position I'm in and do something good for myself for once. Can't wait till I feel how I should by right be feeling, happy. I want to, but it's not easy with all kinda stuff going on which btw, I do not wanna talk about. 

I've heard that you don't have to put any effort at all in order to be happy, you just be. Maybe that is true some how. Just gotta loosen up and let go right? I wish it is that easy as well. Because if it is then all pain and suffering people feel would be gone. Oh, who am I kidding? That's almost impossible!